I have 16 days left of being 15. How exciting is that?! It may be utter collywobbles (collywobbles? I think I mean pollycock?) but I do feel more mature. In five, ten years time I might be thinking how silly and immature I was at 16 but ho hum we all change.
The reason for this exciting feeling of knowledge about myself is bubbling up inside of me; I am not bothered with "skinny" anymore.
This statement may come and go after I've eaten one too many vegan tiffins, but I'm not, and I urge you if you feel this way or if you are too bothered with being curvy or straight or whatever you want to be, to stop.
Fitness and health have changed my life, because I need to eat to fuel my body, and after years of thinking I was all wrong, recently I have felt so deprived. Deprived of bread, "happy eating" and celebratory treats. That little nasty voice in my head telling me I don't need a piece of seedy bread as a snack after my rice cakes can go and stuff itself.
One major problem I had in my "funny days" (not har har funny, more like stupid-esh-not-eating-tasty-carbs-and-other-things) was being influenced by other's diets. Audrey Hepburn, my absolute inspiration, is exactly my height and on the blogosphere, I read a post about what Audrey supposedly ate daily. It was a very small amount and I was shocked compared to what I eat, or what I had been TOLD to eat. Later, I found out that sizes were completely different back then and the curvacious Marilyn Munroe would be preeetty small today.
Disugsted with myself for not being 1950's actress small (wtf, I know), I stepped onto the scales to see a bigger number. But you know what? Humans have evolved. Sure, lots may be eating too much protein in red meat and we have a high percentage of obesity, but there are still a lot of women who are taller now, and STRONGER now. Like I said, fitness has become an obsession (not a stupid obsession like eating habits, but a really motivating and fun obsession) of mine and it has changed the way I see my body. I don't want a thigh gap, I want to be able to squat with a heavy weight on my shoulders; I don't need a 20 inch waist, I'd rather do my ab work and have a strong core. I'm not suggesting we all become 'gym bunnies' as this too can have a damaging affect, but listen to your own body and within moderation and consideration of your internal health, give your body what it goddamn needs.
One last bit of inspiration of mine is this programme about these gorgeous old ladies who are still wearing whatever they want and keeping active and happy. I want to be able to live as long as I can, as happy as I can be and as confident as I can.
I hope this helped, or at least wasn't as boring as some of my other posts heheh.